Purity ball

Last updated

A purity ball is a formal dance event typically practiced by some conservative Christian groups in the United States. The events are attended by fathers and their teenage daughters in order to promote virginity until marriage. Typically, daughters who attend a purity ball make a virginity pledge to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. Fathers who attend a purity ball make a promise to protect their young daughters' "purity of mind, body, and soul." [1] The balls are considered a part of purity culture.

Contents

Proponents of these events believe that they encourage close and deeply affectionate relationships between fathers and daughters, thereby avoiding the premarital sexual activity that allegedly results when young women seek love through relationships with young men. [2] Critics of the balls argue that they encourage and engrave dysfunctional expectations in the minds of the young women, making them vulnerable to believing their only value is as property, and teaching them that they must subjugate their own mental, physical, and emotional well-being to the needs of potentially or actually abusive partners. [3]

Origins

In 1998, the first purity ball was organized by Randy and Lisa Wilson in Colorado Springs, Colorado, United States of America. This event was created for the Wilsons' five daughters and the fathers that he viewed as not having a place in their daughters' lives. [4] Randy Wilson is a director of the Family Research Council, [5] and previously worked for Focus on the Family. [6] The balls were promoted on the radio by James Dobson. [7]

In 2012, the New York Times concluded "there is little hard evidence that purity balls have spread much beyond Colorado Springs" in spite of claims that the events are widespread. The newspaper notes that chastity-promotion events may go by other names, such as "father-daughter balls," in other locations. [5]

Purity balls were most notorious during the early 2000s, but they continue. US speaker of the House Mike Johnson took his daughter to a purity ball in 2015, describing women as "prey" who must be taught to avoid "predators." [8]

Ceremony

The ceremony is a formal event as daughters get dressed up in ball gowns, and the evening typically consists of dinner, a keynote speaker, ballroom dancing and a vow for fathers and daughters. [9] The girls can range in age from their college years to four years old; [10] however, the majority of girls are "just old enough… [to] have begun menstruating" as purity ball guidelines advise. [11] Some ceremonies state a minimum age requirement. [12]

Although the chastity pledges differ between organizations, the purity balls held by the creator of the concept, Pastor Randy Wilson, follow a symbolic ritual. Each father or mentor pledges to shield and protect his daughter; to live a pure life himself as a man, husband, and father; and, to be a man of integrity and responsibility as he acts as a role model for his family. [12] The father's protecting role over the daughter's virginity is emphasized throughout the night, as Wilson states "Fathers, our daughters are waiting for us… They are desperately waiting for us in a culture that lures them into the murky waters of exploitation. They need to be rescued by you, their dad." [13] One widely used pledge for fathers reads: "I, (daughter's name)'s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and my family as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come." [14]

Remembrance gifts are given at some ceremonies to represent the girl's promise of chastity and the father's oath to protect her and guide her in her lifestyle. One form of token is a charm bracelet or necklace in the shape of a heart for the girl and a key for her father, which symbolizes the father's duty to protect the young girl's heart, only giving away the key to her husband on her wedding day. [10] The ceremonies close with a father–daughter waltz which aims to solidify the bond between father and daughter and elucidate the promoters' concept of a "proper date". [12] Lisa Wilson, wife to Randy Wilson and co-founder of Generations of Light, a popular Christian ministry in Colorado Springs, states "We wanted to set a standard of dignity and honor for the way the girls should be treated by the men in their lives". [11]

Wilson advises fathers to praise their daughters' physical attractiveness: "I applaud your courage to look your daughter in the eye and tell her how beautiful she is." Participants are described as "dates", and, according to Glamour magazine, could be mistaken for heterosexual romantic partners in the absence of information about their parent–child relationship. [2]

Beliefs and rationale

Advocates of purity balls assert that they promote physical, psychological, and spiritual integrity. Randy Wilson, one of the co-founders of the purity ball, states that "The idea was to model what the relationship can be as a daughter grows from a child to an adult. You come in closer, become available to answer whatever questions she has." [10] Wilson did not want virginity pledges to become characteristic elements of purity balls as he questions the wisdom of such promises: "It heaps guilt upon them. If they fail, you've made it worse for them." [10] In an interview with Anderson Cooper, Wilson said that purity balls encourage fathers to participate in their daughters' lives, provide guidance, and teach coping skills. [15]

Criticism

Jessica Valenti criticized purity balls in her 2010 book The Purity Myth . She says that the balls' central message is that women's sexuality is controlled by men. She further argues that the balls sexualize young girls; the event is often promoted as a "date." [5] Writer and feminist Eve Ensler criticizes purity balls for implying that fathers, rather than young women themselves, have the freedom to control whether and with whom the young women engage in sexual intercourse. [2]

Glamour claims that National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health data supports the conclusion that teenagers making virginity pledges, including those promulgated through purity balls, usually do not adhere to the required standard of chastity, and are less prepared to utilize safe sex practices to mitigate the risks when engaging in sexual activity. Furthermore, Glamour states that the percentage of teenagers in a given area who have made virginity pledges is positively correlated with the frequency with which sexually transmitted infections occur. [2] An article in Time magazine says that there is a scientific controversy as to the efficacy of the virginity pledges at purity balls. [16]

Opponents of purity balls claim that they encroach upon women's freedom of choice to date whom they please and to make their own independent decisions without the help of men. In this view, the philosophy of purity balls implies that young girls are not capable of making their own choices. [17] Jennifer Freitag, a Southern Illinois University Carbondale doctoral student, argues that, from a feminist perspective, the purity ball ritual can be considered sexist discrimination as it rarely applies to men, and ignores whether women desire heterosexual marriages. Freitag further asserts that the purity balls and virginity pledges give women fewer opportunities to explore their future mates and presume that the girls will marry men, ignoring lesbianism, bisexuality, and transsexualism. Also, Freitag claims that purity balls have psychological elements of father–daughter incest. [18]

Conservative journalist Betsy Hart supports the idea of sexual abstinence prior to marriage. However, she has expressed concerns that purity balls are pervaded by a preoccupation with physical chastity which may inadvertently imbue the social construction of girls attending them with erotic attributes. She claims that this "sexualizing" shifts attention away from maintenance of the internal moral and spiritual virtue which she believes is required by the tenets of the Christian faith. [19]

See also

Related Research Articles

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Chastity</span> Ethic concept of temperance related to sexuality

Chastity, also known as purity, is a virtue related to temperance. Someone who is chaste refrains either from sexual activity that is considered immoral or from any sexual activity, according to their state of life. In some contexts, for example when making a vow of chastity, chastity means celibacy.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Agnes of Rome</span> Christian virgin and saint

Agnes of Rome is a virgin martyr, venerated as a saint in the Catholic Church, Oriental Orthodox Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church, as well as the Anglican Communion and Lutheran Churches. She is one of several virgin martyrs commemorated by name in the Canon of the Mass.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Sexual abstinence</span> Act of refraining from sexual activity

Sexual abstinence or sexual restraint is the practice of refraining from some or all aspects of sexual activity for medical, psychological, legal, social, philosophical, moral, religious or other reasons. Sexual abstinence is distinct from asexuality, which is a sexual orientation where people feel little or no sexual attraction. Celibacy is sexual abstinence generally motivated by factors such as an individual's personal or religious beliefs. Sexual abstinence before marriage is required in some societies by social norms, or by law in some countries. It is a part of chastity.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Virginity</span> State of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse

Virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse. The term virgin originally only referred to sexually inexperienced women, but has evolved to encompass a range of definitions, as found in traditional, modern and ethical concepts. Heterosexual individuals may or may not consider loss of virginity to occur only through penile-vaginal penetration, while people of other sexual orientations often include oral sex, anal sex, or manual sex in their definitions of losing one's virginity.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Abstinence pledge</span> Conmitment to refrain from drug usage or sexual intercourse

Abstinence pledges are commitments made by people, often though not always teenagers and young adults, to practice abstinence, usually in the case of practicing teetotalism with respect to abstaining from alcohol and other drugs, or chastity, with respect to abstaining from sexual intercourse until marriage; in the case of sexual abstinence, they are sometimes also known as purity pledges or virginity pledges. They are most common in the United States among Catholic and Evangelical Christian denominations, while others are nonsectarian.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Debutante</span> Upper-class girl introduced to high society

A debutante, also spelled débutante, or deb is a young woman of aristocratic or upper-class family background who has reached maturity and is presented to society at a formal "debut" or possibly debutante ball. Originally, the term meant that the woman was old enough to be married, and part of the purpose of her coming out was to display her to eligible bachelors and their families with a view to marriage within a select circle.

The law of chastity is a moral code defined by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. According to the church, chastity means that "sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded as husband and wife." Therefore, abstinence from sexual relations outside of marriage, and complete fidelity to one's spouse during marriage, are required. As part of the law of chastity, the church teaches its members to abstain from adultery and fornication.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Purity ring</span> Ring worn to signal chastity

Purity rings are rings worn as a sign of chastity. Since the 1990s, in the United States, Christian organizations in the United States used the purity ring as a symbol of commitment. In particular, Catholic and evangelical Christian groups which promoted virginity pledges and virginity before marriage, such as True Love Waits and Silver Ring Thing. Wearing a purity ring is typically accompanied by a religious vow to practice abstinence until marriage. Chastity rings are part of the abstinence-only sex education movement and are intended to act as a physical reminder of the wearer's chastity vow.

Nāmūs is an Arabic word describing an ethical category in Middle Eastern patriarchal character. Often literally translated as "virtue", it is now more popularly used in a strong gender-specific context of relations within a family described in terms of honor, attention, respect/respectability, and modesty.

A virginity test is the practice and process of determining whether a woman is a virgin; i.e., to determine that she has never engaged in, or been subjected to, vaginal intercourse. The test typically involves a check for the presence of an intact hymen, typically on the flawed assumption that it can only be, and will always be torn as a result of vaginal intercourse. It has been practiced since ancient times but its recent use in the United Kingdom dates back to the 1970s. It is still legal for doctors in the United States to perform virginity tests.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Umhlanga (ceremony)</span> Annual Swazi womans ritual

Umhlanga, or Reed Dance ceremony, is an annual Swazi event that takes place at the end of August or at the beginning of September. In Eswatini, tens of thousands of unmarried and childless Swazi girls and women travel from the various chiefdoms to the Ludzidzini Royal Village to participate in the eight-day event. The young, unmarried girls were placed in female age-regiments; girls who had fallen pregnant outside wedlock had their families fined a cow.

<i>When God Writes Your Love Story</i> 1999 book

When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Approach to Guy/Girl Relationships is a 1999 book by Eric and Leslie Ludy, an American married couple. After becoming a bestseller on the Christian book market, the book was republished in 2004 and then revised and expanded in 2009. It tells the story of the authors' first meeting, courtship, and marriage. The authors advise single people not to be physically or emotionally intimate with others, but to wait for the spouse that God has planned for them. The first edition was packaged with a CD single by the Ludys: "Faithfully", a song they had written specifically to accompany the book.

<i>The Purity Myth</i> 2009 book by Jessica Valenti

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women (2009) is a book about virginity by feminist author Jessica Valenti. The book was first released onto hardback on March 24, 2009, through Seal Press. Valenti argues that there is a prevalent false notion promoted within the United States that a woman's worth is predicated upon whether or not she is sexually active, implying that the loss of virginity can negatively affect her. A DVD tie-in titled The Purity Myth: The Virginity Movement's War Against Women was released in 2011.

<i>How to Lose Your Virginity</i> 2013 American documentary film by Therese Shechter

How to Lose Your Virginity is an American documentary film directed by Therese Shechter and distributed by Women Make Movies. The film examines how the concept of virginity shapes the sexual lives of young women and men through the intersecting forces of history, politics, religion and popular culture. It premiered at DOC NYC, a New York City documentary festival, on November 17, 2013.

Dannah Gresh is an author, speaker, and the founder of True Girl, a Christian tween event for mothers and daughters ages 8–12. She is also the founder of Pure Freedom, a ministry which focuses on sexual theology, purity, and holiness for teens. Books written by Gresh include And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity and Lies Young Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free which she co-authored with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. She lives in State College, Pennsylvania with her husband, Bob. In 2021, She was named the Cedarville University "2021 Alumna of the Year."

<span class="mw-page-title-main">White Cross Army</span>

The White Cross Army was an organisation set up in 1883 by philanthropist Ellice Hopkins with help from the Bishop of Durham, to promote "social purity". The recruits – all of them men – pledged to show a "chivalrous respect for womanhood", to apply ideas of purity equally to men and women, and not to indulge in foul language or indecent behaviour. It was renamed the White Cross League in 1891, and merged with the Church of England Purity Society, which had been formed by Edward White Benson.

In 2017 in Ethiopia, 40% of girls are married off before 18 years old. 14% are married before they turn 15. Ethiopia is the 16th highest nation in the world for child marriage.

Pure (<i>Into the Dark</i>) 12th episode of the 1st season of Into the Dark

"Pure" is the twelfth episode and final episode of the first season of Hulu's horror anthology streaming television series Into the Dark. The feature-length episode was directed by Hannah Macpherson, who also wrote the episode's teleplay. It was released on Hulu on September 6, 2019.

Purity culture is a subculture within Christianity which emphasizes subjective individual "purity," generally associated with female chastity.

Ariginya Festival is a commonly celebrated festival celebrated in one of the Ondo State town called Ikare Akoko. Depending on the dialect and mode of pronunciation, some call it Aringinya. This festival is said to be one of the foremost traditional festival celebrated in this town from inception. Ikare-Akoko is one of the town located in the southwest region of Nigeria, and in the Yoruba area. The festival is one out of many festivals that is set to celebrate the virginity and chastity among female genders as the Yoruba land is known for her worth and high value pertaining to decency and purity. The festival is such that helps to improve the mindset of dignity and purity as well as the value of a woman staying pure and reserved until the wedding and only to her husband. This has helped to improve the rate of decency in the town as young girls understands the price and the worth and that one of the greatest virtue of a woman is her virginity and a media to stand against sexual abuse and harassment

References

  1. "Purity Ball Colorado Springs | Generations of Light, Randy Wilson". Archived from the original on September 3, 2010. Retrieved November 7, 2010.
  2. 1 2 3 4 Would you pledge your virginity to your father? Archived 2007-09-04 at the Wayback Machine ; Glamour ; January, 2007; Jennifer Baumgardner.
  3. Oppenheimer, Mark (July 21, 2012). "'Purity Ball' Get Attention, but Might Not be All They Claim". The New York Times.
  4. "The Pursuit of Teen Purity". Time. July 17, 2008. Archived from the original on March 18, 2012. Retrieved March 15, 2012.
  5. 1 2 3 Oppenheimer, Mark (July 20, 2012). "'Purity Balls' Get Attention, but Might Not Be All They Claim". New York Times.
  6. "Randy Wilson: National Director, Men's Ministry". Family Research Council.
  7. "Family Talk with Dr. James Dobson: A Father's Commitment to His Daughter, Part 2". February 3, 2012.
  8. Steakin, Will (December 20, 2023). "Speaker Mike Johnson and daughter were profiled attending 'purity ball' in 2015 German TV news segment". ABC News.
  9. "Generations of Light". Archived from the original on February 28, 2012. Retrieved March 18, 2012.
  10. 1 2 3 4 "The Pursuit of Teen Girl Purity". Archived from the original on December 8, 2013. Retrieved March 25, 2012.
  11. 1 2 "Would You Pledge Your Virginity to Your Father?". January 2007. Archived from the original on April 15, 2012. Retrieved March 22, 2012.
  12. 1 2 3 "Father Daughter Purity Ball". Archived from the original on July 31, 2012. Retrieved March 22, 2012.
  13. Banerjee, Neela (May 19, 2008). "Dancing the Night Away, With a Higher Purpose". The New York Times. Archived from the original on March 5, 2014. Retrieved January 28, 2014.
  14. "The Pledge". Archived from the original on March 17, 2012. Retrieved March 18, 2012.
  15. "Purity Myth". Why is the pressure to Be Pure only on Women?. Archived from the original on April 19, 2012. Retrieved March 22, 2012.
  16. The Pursuit of Teen Girl Purity Archived 2008-07-21 at the Wayback Machine ; Time Magazine ; July 17, 2008; Nancy Gibbs
  17. "Father-Daughter Purity Balls Still Drawing Crowds, Criticisms" . Retrieved March 23, 2012.
  18. "Daddy's Little Girl" . Retrieved March 23, 2012.
  19. Betsy Hart (February 3, 2007). "Hart: Girl's sexuality is personal property". Archived from the original on July 19, 2011. Retrieved November 9, 2009.