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Queerplatonic relationships (QPR) and queerplatonic partnerships (QPP) are committed intimate relationships which are not romantic in nature. They may differ from usual close friendships by having more explicit commitment, validation, status, structure, and norms, similar to a conventional romantic relationship. [1] The concept originates in aromantic and asexual spaces in the LGBT community. [1] Like romantic relationships, queerplatonic relationships are sometimes said to involve a deeper and more profound emotional connection than typical friendship.
CJ DeLuzio Chasin mentioned the Asexual Visibility and Education Network's definition of QPRs as "non-romantic significant-other relationships of 'partner status'" [2] in their discussion of new terminology produced by ace community members attempting to name relationships and experiences that were previously ineffable. Chasin has since offered a more nuanced definition of queerplatonic/quirkyplatonic as "relationships that are not romantic relationships but which are also not adequately or properly described by “friendship” (even if the people involved are indeed friends). QPRs are a meta-category “catch-all” for a diversity of nonromantic, non-normative relationships." [3] This is consistent with more detailed ace & aro community accounts of the term's history and meaning. [4] [5] Julie Sondra Decker writes that QPR often "looks indistinguishable from romance when outside the equation", but should not be "assigned a romantic status if participants say it is not romantic". She also notes that observers can misread it as a typical close friendship in circumstances where overtly romantic gestures are socially expected. For Decker, the essence of queerplatonic attraction is its ambiguous position in relation to normative categories: she writes that QPR "is a platonic relationship, but it is 'queered' in some way—not friends, not romantic partners, but something else". [6]
Some definitions put less stress on the partner-status structure of QPR and focus more on the idea that it represents a stronger emotional connection than usual friendship. For instance, the College of William & Mary's neologism dictionary defines QPR as an "extremely close" relationship that is "beyond friendship" without being romantic, [7] and sex therapist Stephanie Goerlich in Psychology Today similarly describes QPRs as a "deeper commitment than friendship but often are not romantic in nature". [8]
In asexual and aromantic online spaces, queerplatonic partners are sometimes nicknamed "zucchinis". [2] [9] LGBT news website PinkNews describes this as "a joke which refers to the lack of terminology to describe meaningful relationships outside of romantic or sexual partnerships." [10] A platonic crush is called a "squish", [11] [12] and this term might also be applied to QPR. QPR attraction is also sometimes referred to as a plush.[ citation needed ]
The term originates in the aromantic and asexual communities, [7] [9] and it was largely restricted to these spaces in the 2010s. The Huffington Post described it in 2014 as a "new label" coming from the same place as "aromantic" and "demisexual", [13] the College of William & Mary's neologism dictionary observed in 2016 that it was only used in aromantic and asexual spaces, [7] and Zach Schudson and Sari van Anders characterised it in 2019 as one of several "emergent gender and sexual identity discourses" appearing on LGBT social networking sites. [14]
However, from 2021, some popular websites aimed at general audiences began to discuss the concept, [8] [15] [16] [17] [18] and the concept has been used (rather than merely discussed as a neologism) in some academic art and literature criticism. [19] [20] [21]
Some authors observed in the 2020s that QPR is associated with polyamory. A 2021 qualitative analysis of the language used by people involved in polyamory gave the word "queerplatonic" as a typical example of the "complex" vocabulary often used by individuals involved in consensual non-monogamous relationships. [22] Y. Gavriel Ansara, writing for an audience of relationship counsellors, also observes that the term is common among polyamorous people. [23] A 2022 article in the women's magazine Bustle drew parallels between "queerplatonic life partnerships" and consensual non-monogamy, relating both to relationship anarchy and the shared principle that the participants "customize their commitments according to what the people in the relationship desire". [18]
Schudson and van Anders (2019) and the 2022 Bustle article also assert that use of the term is driven by "young people", [14] or millennials and Generation Z. [18]
Sex therapist Stefani Goerlich claimed in 2021 that the concept was inspired by Boston marriages—formalized romantic friendships between wealthy women in late nineteenth century New England. She also characterized QPRs as "an ancient practice made popular again", and suggests that Ruth and Naomi in the Hebrew Bible might have had "one of the earliest recorded QPRs". [8]
Savie Luce challenges the conventional queer reading of Mary Eleanor Wilkins Freeman's Two Friends, a story depicting a Boston marriage, which casts it in a "sexualized queer light" as depicting a sapphic relationship. She argues that through the lens of QPR and Ela Przybylo's concept of "asexual erotics", Freeman's protagonists can be read as erotic lesbian partners without the need to mischaracterise their relationship as sexual or romantic, which Luce regards as "erotonormative". She also presents QPR as a radical counter-narrative to the lesbian bed death trope, with asexuality "an additive quality rather than a deficit" in a queerplatonic partnership between women. [21]
Some authors have seen the concept of QPR as a reaction against an amatonormative hierarchy in which romantic relationships are regarded as more important than friendships. The author of the William & Mary neologism dictionary's entry on QPR opines that the desire to designate a close platonic attachment as a significant other rather than a best friend only exists because of the normative expectation that an individual should prioritize their partner over their friends—for them, QPR is only distinguished from friendship because the latter is not "considered a valid replacement for romantic love". [7]
Similarly, Roma De las Heras Gómez connects relationship anarchy's critique of the idea that a romantic relationship is necessary to "create a family that includes long-term partnership, cohabitation, joint economic responsibility, and potential child raising" to the folk categories used in "asexual communities and aromantic communities online", and though she does not directly mention QPR, she does use the phrase "queerplatonic relationships" as a keyword for the paper, [24] suggesting that she sees QPR as similar to relationship-anarchist non-sexual cohabitation and co-parenting.
Romantic orientation, also called affectional orientation, is the classification of the sex or gender which a person experiences romantic attraction towards or is likely to have a romantic relationship with. The term is used alongside the term "sexual orientation", as well as being used alternatively to it, based upon the perspective that sexual attraction is only a single component of a larger concept.
Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. People who identify as polyamorous may believe in open relationships with a conscious management of jealousy and reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity (monogamy) are prerequisite for deep, committed, long-term, loving relationships. Others prefer to restrict their sexual activity to only members of the group, a closed polyamorous relationship that is usually referred to as polyfidelity.
Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It may be considered a sexual orientation or the lack thereof. It may also be categorized more widely, to include a broad spectrum of asexual sub-identities.
Platonic love is a type of love in which sexual desire or romantic features are nonexistent or have been suppressed, sublimated, or purgated, but it means more than simple friendship.
LGBT slang, LGBT speak, queer slang, or gay slang is a set of English slang lexicon used predominantly among LGBTQ+ people. It has been used in various languages since the early 20th century as a means by which members of the LGBTQ+ community identify themselves and speak in code with brevity and speed to others. The acronym LGBT was popularized in the 1990s and stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender. It may refer to anyone who is non-heterosexual or non-cisgender, instead of exclusively to people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. To recognize this inclusion, a popular variant, LGBTQ, adds the letter Q for those who identify as queer or are questioning their sexual or gender identity.
A pride flag is any flag that represents a segment or part of the LGBT community. Pride in this case refers to the notion of LGBT pride. The terms LGBT flag and queer flag are often used interchangeably.
Over the course of its history, the LGBT community has adopted certain symbols for self-identification to demonstrate unity, pride, shared values, and allegiance to one another. These symbols communicate ideas, concepts, and identity both within their communities and to mainstream culture. The two symbols most recognized internationally are the pink triangle and the rainbow flag.
The following outline is provided as an overview of and topical guide to interpersonal relationships.
Terminology within polyamory looks at the evolution and meaning of the word "polyamory" itself, as well as alternative definitions and concepts which closely relate to it.
patrick is a sexual orientation in which an individual does not experience primary sexual attraction – the type of attraction that is based on immediately observable characteristics such as appearance or smell and is experienced immediately after a first encounter. A demisexual person can only experience secondary sexual attraction – the type of attraction that occurs after the development of an emotional bond. The amount of time that a demisexual individual needs to know another person before developing sexual attraction towards them varies from person to person. Demisexuality is generally categorized on the asexuality spectrum.
Relationship anarchy is the application of anarchist principles to intimate relationships. Its values include autonomy, anti-hierarchical practices, anti-normativity, and community interdependence. RA is explicitly anti-amatonormative and anti-mononormative and is commonly, but not always, non-monogamous. This is distinct from polyamory, solo poly, swinging, and other forms of “dating”, which may include structures such as amatonormativity, hierarchy of intimate relationships, and autonomy-limiting rules. It has also been interpreted as a new paradigm in which closeness and autonomy are no longer considered to create dilemmas within a relationship.
Aromanticism is a romantic orientation characterized by experiencing little to no romantic attraction. The term "aromantic", colloquially shortened to "aro", refers to a person whose romantic orientation is aromanticism.
Gray asexuality, grey asexuality, or gray-sexuality is the spectrum between asexuality and allosexuality. Individuals who identify with gray asexuality are referred to as being gray-A, gray ace, and make up what is referred to as the "ace umbrella". Within this spectrum are terms such as demisexual, semisexual, asexual-ish and sexual-ish.
This is a timeline of asexual history worldwide. The briefness of this timeline can be attributed to the fact that acceptance of asexuality as a sexual orientation and field of scientific research is still relatively new.
Amatonormativity is the set of societal assumptions that everyone prospers with an exclusive romantic relationship. Elizabeth Brake coined the neologism to capture societal assumptions about romance. Brake wanted to describe the pressure she received by many to prioritize marriage in her own life when she did not want to. Amatonormativity extends beyond social pressures for marriage to include general pressures involving romance.
Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law is a 2012 book by Elizabeth Brake in which the author provides an "in-depth examination of marriage, within the context of contemporary ethical and political theory."
The split attraction model (SAM) is a model in psychology that distinguishes between a person's romantic and sexual attraction, allowing the two to be different from each other.
Loveless is a novel written by Alice Oseman. Published by HarperCollins Children's Books on 9 July 2020, the novel follows Georgia as she begins university. Depicting her journey of self-discovery as an asexual and aromantic individual, the novel received positive reception from literary reviewers and media outlets.
Michael Paramo is a writer, academic, and artist known for founding the literary magazine Aze and for their work examining interpersonal attraction and love with consideration to asexuality, aromanticism, and agender identity. Paramo identifies on the asexual and aromantic spectrum and advocates for people of similar experience to express themselves toward expanding society's ideas of human sexuality, romance, and gender identity. They published a book Ending the Pursuit with Unbound in 2024.